Oct 30 2011

Complete Indigo Bones & the Temple of Gloom

Category: Uncategorizedabell.ja @ 3:28 pm

Below is James’s complete Indigo Bones story – an excellent yarn, extremely well written and a prodigious feat of typing! Well done James!

 

Boom! IndigoBones’ plane had just blown up and he was falling down to the sandy beach far
below. Arrows started whooshing past him. Was he going to die? Die so early in his quest to find the lost treasure of the Temple of Gloom. Thud! He landed hard on the sandy beach of the jungle shores. He stood up and started into the jungle.

Once Indigo had entered the jungle he stopped and stared. He had never seen such amazing scenes before. All around him was dense jungle. It was huge! He had never seen such amazing scenes previously in his whole life. The first thing he noticed was the heat. It was boiling and Indigo didn’t have any sun cream on him. Oh well he would have to carry on.

There were birds and animals everywhere he looked. The jungle looked very dangerous. What animals lurked in the shadows? Were there any snakes? (Indigo hated snakes) He didn’t even have a simple first aid kit! Oh why had he left Dan behind? He had a first aid kit! He would know what to do. (Though there were not very many options.) Oh why had he left him behind?

So he started walking through the thick undergrowth. It was the first time he had noticed he was panting and struggling to get oxygen into his body. Also he was finding it hard to see because the rainforest was turning white because of the heavy mist. But it still seemed like he was in a saucepan. He had expected it to get a lot colder when the heavy mist arrived. At least it had cooled down slightly, but it was still boiling. He sat down at the stump of a tree to have a rest.

He must have dozed off because when he awoke the mist had cleared, so he stood up and walked in the direction he thought the river was.

It felt creepy as he wandered through the dense undergrowth of the Amazon rainforest. Suddenly the rainforest went all quiet. It felt spooky. Instantly a bird squawked and then fell to the floor right in front of him. It had an arrow right through its chest. What was
happening?

Instantaneously a shower of arrows rained down on him. Some just landed an inch or two away from him. Just then he suddenly realised that he was under attack from an Indian tribe!

Suddenly another torrent of razor sharp tipped arrows descended down on him from the sky. He didn’t think. He just bolted towards the river. The Indians were gaining on him rapidly. Without warning an Indian sprang out in front of him. He stopped. He stared. He was surrounded by Indians.

Just then out of the silence there was a crash, so loud it made the ground shake. The Indians were so shocked they dispersed with fear. Indigo whipped his whip around a branch of a nearby tree and swung out of danger. Soon he was in sight of the river so hesat down to rest in peace.

 

Once Indigo woke he stood up and walked towards the river slowly and carefully in
case the Indian tribe had not completely stopped chasing him. He soon reached the river. He was very relieved to be out of the ‘boiling saucepan’ of heat but this was even worse!

In front of Indigo was the widest wildest river he had ever seen! He was having problems seeing to the other side of it. The river looked dangerous. The river looked deep. It
generally looked scary. The river was murky. He had already seen some crocodiles and piranhas and the river had a number of white water rapids. It was also very fast flowing and rocky as well. He really didn’t like the look of the river but, he was going to have to cross the river to get to the lost treasure of the Temple of Gloom. Just then Indigo saw a shiny black piranha leap high out of the water and into the air. It was the first time he had really stared at one of the piranha’s and they had huge sharp white teeth ready to kill and large bulging eyes almost as if they were trying to pop out of its head, and he had to face a whole river of them!

 

He had once been a good surfer so he could surf across the river. ‘No. Yes. No. Yes. No Yes.’ He thought. Yes I will do it. ‘It is going to be my only option.’ So he started customizing himself a surf board. It took Indigo about two hours to do it but after that time he was very pleased with himself. Finally after he finished his surf board he stood back and had a good look at it. It was roughly seven and a half feet long and one and a half feet wide it also had three large fins underneath at the back. After all that work it was actually quite good. So all that was left for Indigo to do was to get going!

Indigo pushed the board into the river and jumped on. It was quite easy at first when he was on the board but as soon as he encountered some white water rapids and rocks he was having large problems. Currently Indigo was about half way across the river and luckily so
far he had not had any encounters with crocodiles or piranha’s.

CRACK! Indigo had spoken to soon. A large crocodile had just bitten Indigo’s board in half. So… he jumped onto the crocodile and carried on! This crocodile could not dive beneath the surface of the water or Indigo would probably get eaten. Currently Indigo was
about five sixths of his journey across the river.

Splash! The crocodile dived. Indigo instantaneously whipped his whip around a nearby tree and pulled himself the rest of the way across the river. Phew! he thought. That really was a close one! I was very lucky to live.  Soon Indigo was in sight of the temple so he sat down under a small tree for a well earned rest.

 

When Indigo finally woke up he had a good look at the temple. It was the largest thing he had ever seen!  It looked like it was made out of gold. It really did look beautiful and old. In some ways it looked like an Aztec temple but in some ways it didn’t. Though Indigo had never seen any type of temple previously, he just had one little problem. How was he going to enter the temple?

Indigo thought the entrance would probably be at the top of the temple. So he started the long and treacherous climb. He found the climb surprisingly easy compared to lots of
things in his journey.

Once Indigo reached the top of the temple there was nothing there. Indigo walked around the top of the temple again and again. He was getting bored but just then he fell down through a trap door!

Once he had come through the trap door Indigo looked in front of him. There was a balance beam with a pit… a pit of snakes underneath it. Indigo looked up desperately for the trap door. The trap door had just closed. He had no choice. Slowly and steadily he started to walk across the beam. But then the balance beam started collapsing behind him. Indigo sprinted the rest of the way across the beam and only just in time because the last inch of the balance beam collapsed just as he finished the run. Then he suddenly fell down through a tiny trap door onto a giant chess board.

It was gigantic! All the pieces were as big as Indigo! It looked a bit like eagle warriors and black things. Anyhow, Indigo was playing as the black team.

The game was really difficult even though Indigo was quite good at chess. It took Indigo about an hour to finally overcome the eagle warriors.

Suddenly a muffled rumbling started, and then the ground started to crack all around him. Then the rumbling got to almost deafening point. CRACK! Indigo fell. He fell like a torpedo for what seemed like hours. It was getting unbearable. Splash!

Indigo was in a large cavern which was half full of water. He found that the water level was gradually rising. He needed to find an exit, and fast! Desperately he dived under looking
for a possible exit. After a few tries Indigo really couldn’t find an exit. The cavern was now three-quarters full and Indigo didn’t have much time. Indigo dived one last time and suddenly he found an exit!

He quickly swam into the passage and burst out into another large cavern which, this time was not full of water. He gasped. In front of him up on a high plinth was an eagle warrior’s helmet made out of gold.

He quickly ran up to the plinth lifted up the helmet, put it in his sack and ran. Alreadythings had started to happen. The roof was crumbling down to the ground all
around him. There was the exit; there was the exit right in front of him! Bang! The exit was suddenly blocked by a large boulder. He noticed that on it there were four symbols. Then he realised that you had to enter the symbols in the right order. He tried many times. Time was running out and he had already been hit once or twice by a small boulder. He had one last try in despair in which he whacked all the symbols at once and to his utter amazement the boulder
moved!

Quickly Indigo ran out and ran back to the river where he knew Dan would be waiting for him in the plane. So Indigo Bones ran to the river and jumped into the plane with the lost treasure of the Temple of Gloom.


Oct 23 2011

More Indigo Bones…

Category: Uncategorizedabell.ja @ 4:13 pm

Over the half term holiday, the class has finished their Indigo Bones story. These are their favourite extracts (any editing suggestions in brackets and italics are by Miss Abell). What do you think?

This is an action adventure story. Does it have action? Is it exciting?  Is there good description and vocabulary? What editing advice would you give?

 

Indigo Bones had seen a river straight in front of him whooshing wildly down the murky
stream (ravine?). Murky water was raging with the current as muddy as a mud hole. Indigo Bones didn’t know what to do except from (for?) swimming through it. Exploding flying fish
flew in the air and soared (out?) of the disgustingly, unpleasant water so he didn’t feel like swimming in that! QUICK! Indigo Bones had to escape from the fish before they went all over him. Exploding water fish were hitting Indigo like a cricket bat smacking a really hard ball and splashing back in the murky water Yes! There was a vine dangling forwards and backwards. He quickly grabbed on to it and swung passed the revoltingly, disgusting water. YEAH!

By Hassan

Whoosh!
The force of the wind was so strong that I had to cover my face with my whole body, as I descended down to the forest floor. At first I thought I wouldn’t encounter any problems until I actually got to the temple but I was wrong. My parachute had got stuck in a tree. I was left dangling down helplessly. I didn’t expect this problem so I didn’t bring a knife. But I did have something else sharp, my teeth…

By Rishi

There was no sign of wildlife in the dark forest. Indigo thought to himself “Quiet, too quiet” and wondered where the animals had gone. The path hadn’t been used for so long that it had
disappeared with vines growing all over the place all twisted together like rope, interlocked completely, and hiding the path. Indigo excavated the path by cutting all the low down vines but suddenly one of the vines wasn’t as he thought because it was moving. It was a king cobra which attacked Indigo’s arm. Reading the body language the cobra was not in a good mood. Quickly he grabbed the snake’s head and ripped it off his arm and chopped its head off
with his machete. Indigo was petrified .He would die alone in the forest of poison. Remembering the ancient map he ran through the rest of the forest, desperate to get to the river to wash the venom out of the wound before it got into his blood! He reached the river. Knowing about the crocs he dunked his arm into the water any way. A shiny clean river like light leaning on the surface of the water shone all around the area. Sloosh went the river as it zoomed across the gap in the land.

By Matthew N

The closer I got to the temple the more worried I became. Standing before me was a
ginormous cliff as high as the clouds. I started to climb but I just kept on falling back down. I got bored. Hour after hour I wasted but at nine o’clock sharp I discovered something amazing. I put my hand on the wall and suddenly two secret lift shafts appeared. They looked like they reached high up into the cliff and could take me to the top where the temple was. I had to choose which one was booby trapped. Luckily, I had some gold coins which I threw into the
left hand lift. Suddenly spikes flew up from its floor and skewered the coins. I therefore walked carefully into the right hand lift. But I didn’t think getting a lift to the top of the cliff and the temple was going to be that simple.

 

I was right. As soon as I entered the right hand lift a voice appeared from nowhere. It was like the cliff was talking to me – its secret conscience. I knew I would have to complete some challenges to take me further up. The conscience said “The first challenge you will face is to read an Ancient Egyptian piece of writing”. Luckily, I was an archaeologist so I could
translate the Egyptian hieroglyphics that were carved around the walls of the shaft. The lift ascended, taking me further towards my goal and the next challenge.  “Your second challenge” the cliff said “is to calculate how many coins there are in this bag”. A dusty old
leather bag dropped from the ceiling of the lift, I swerved to avoid it hitting me and knocking me out. I held the bag in my hand and tried to estimate from the weight of it how many coins it contained. “Six”, I replied confidently. The conscience said I was correct and the lift moved higher for about a minute. Then it stopped. The cliff commanded again. “Your final challenge to get you up to the temple is to remember this sequence – zero, zero, circle, zero, cliff,
circle, temple”. I paused and repeated “zero, zero, circle, zero, cliff…..mmm mmmm..circle?..temple”. The conscience replied, “Correct. This lift will now self destruct in ten seconds”. The doors opened and I flew out of the lift and ran for cover. The voice rang out, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one”. Boom!  I’d survived and as the dust from the explosion settled I gazed at the towering temple ahead of me.

By Skye

Indigo cut himself free and landed on the ground. He tentatively started to walk. He could hear frogs croaking, birds chirping and the cacophony of insect noises. The air was damp and humid. He was sweating profusely. There were overhanging vines with monkeys expertly jumping from one vine to another. The canopy of the trees sheltered him from the sun. The towering trees were the biggest he had seen anywhere.

The sky suddenly turned dark and he could hear the deafening roar of thunder. He ran to take shelter as there was a sudden downpour. He stumbled against the undergrowth and fell. He lifted his head and found himself staring into the eyes of a boa-constrictor. He lay very still with his heart pounding. The snake slowly slithered into the dense rainforest. He took shelter under a tree until the rain stopped. He was muddy, dirty and thirsty. He set out to find the river. He walked endlessly until he heard the beautiful noise of cascading water. He had reached the river!

Indigo quickly constructed a raft and got past the river. After pushing through a few bushes he could see the temple. The temple was in a shape of a pyramid. He could sees the diamond glistening in the sunlight.

As he entered the pyramid he saw a narrow staircase leading to the top. He was claustrophobic!  He cautiously started climbing the stairs.  He heard a noise. He looked up and saw a stone flying at a great speed. It smashed right next to him. He felt a chill down his spine. He continued as he desperately wanted the diamond. As he was climbing a big stone dislodged
from under his feet, he lost his balance and suddenly a spear came flying out. It shot and narrowly missed him by an inch. “Phew that was close” Indigo exclaimed.

By Adi

 


Oct 08 2011

Indigo Bones

Category: Uncategorizedabell.ja @ 2:06 pm

Year 5 have been busy writing Indigo Bones stories this half term. Our hero has plunged into the verdant rainforest, faced countless threats and overcome terrifying obstacles, all in pursuit of the Temple of Gloom and its priceless treasure. Keep an eye out for extracts coming soon…

 

Alex’s start:

Reaching the destination:

Indigo Bones must enter the rainforest in order to begin his quest for the Temple of Gloom. The class was asked to write an action start, using short sentences, onomatopoeia, strong verbs, repetition and character thoughts and feelings. How did they do?

 

Indigo’s next two obstacles are a journey through the dense heat of the tropical rainforest and crossing a raging river. The boys were asked to write a combination of description and action. They needed to use all of the techniques they had been taught so far: fantastic vocabulary; long, descriptive sentences; similes; alliteration; short, sharp action sentences; onomatopoeia; repetition for effect and character’s thoughts and feelings. That was a lot to remember – and all whilst also trying to do their very best writing! How did they do?

John’s rainforest description:

Sebby’s river crossing: